


History of Loki and his Kits.

by TessaVance



Category: Marvel, Norse Religion & Lore, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Abuse, Bullying, Cultural Differences, Discussion of Abortion, Dysfunctional Family, Ends on a Hopeful Note, F/F, F/M, Gender Dysphoria, Genderfluid Loki (Marvel), M/M, Odin's A+ Parenting (Marvel), Older Woman/Younger Man, Pack Dynamics, Punishment, Suicidal Thoughts, Torture, making your own family
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-18 01:22:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 16,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29481402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TessaVance/pseuds/TessaVance
Summary: The ancient Norse myths are a rousing tale of strapping hero’s defeating baddies, and winning maiden's fair.  Something to get your blood pumping and raise moral.Unless of course you happen to be on the side of the “monsters” then it becomes a tale of terror.This is a tale told through the eyes of Loki “liesmith, Trickster god, ungrateful son of Odin” and his children.Come judge for yourself if this is a glorious tale of Hero’s or a torturous account of those who dare to be different.
Relationships: Angrboða | Angerboda/Loki (Norse Religion & Lore), Angrboða | Angerboda/Loki/Sigyn (Norse Religion & Lore), Loki/Sigyn (Marvel), Sleipnir/Oc
Comments: 19
Kudos: 8





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I drew a lot BUT not all of my source material from the Norse myths. (Some I had to discard or jiggle in order to make them fit the MCV and my own universe. This story is an off shoot of my extremely nice fluffy series the Zima-Stark pack. This is NOT a part of that series, there is not a lot of fluff and terrible horrible things happen in this story. This is set two thousand three hundred years earlier. You do not need to read that to understand or follow this) 
> 
> Each Age last for a hundred earth years. So, someone who is age two has lived for two hundred years.

Loki stumbled and the guard on her right roughly grabbed her arm, yanking her upright. Flesh crawling from where his bruising, repulsive grip touch her, she pulled her arm free. The guard made some sneering remark but didn’t touch her again, so Loki ignored it. She looked down, paying more attention to where she was walking. The last thing she wanted to do was give the guard another excuse to touch her. It had been a seven day since she last saw sunlight and her eyes were perfectly adapted to the gloom of the dungeon. Placing her feet on the rough stone with more care, she wondered why the guards had come for her. It was still at least another three seven days if not more before she could change back into her proper normal gender. 

She did not know why it happened, but for her entire life she had been cursed that at least once for every age her body would ignore the fact; she was a boy and turn into a girl. Complete with all the girl’s parts. Her father got ever so cross when this happened. She had tried multiple time to tell him she had no control of it, but he never believed her. He seemed to think she was doing it deliberately. As if she wanted it. He did not know how horrifying it was as a boy to watch as your penis disappeared and suddenly you have an extra opening to her body that you didn’t have before. 

She vaguely remembers back when she was till quiet young four or five perhaps that she hadn’t been bothered by the change as she had seen it as just a part of who she was. But her father had never looked at it that way. In his eyes he had two sons and Norns help anything that said differently. She couldn’t recall a time when she had been female that they had not locked her up. As a child, her father only lock her in her room until she became a boy again. But now that she was thirteen, he had decided that isolating her in her room wasn’t enough; he had to take more drastic measures. Helped along no doubt by the fact that her body now she had reached puberty had increased the amounts of times she turned female. When she was in her twelfth age instead of her normal once her body had betrayed her had turned three times. 

“This way,” The guard grunted, reaching out for her again. Loki flinched out of the way. She didn’t understand why, as a boy, she hated the guards, but as a girl there was something worse about them. She couldn’t pinpoint what it was exactly. Their stares made her uncomfortable, she could feel the weight of their gaze as they dragged it all across her mis shaped body. They spent a lot of time looking at her chest with its two lumps on it that were growing bigger and the way her body shape changed from the slim straight form of her male form to suddenly having all these curves. 

Every time her father punished her for this shape, she grew to hate it a little more. And now, now the way the guards stared at her body but never look her in the eyes. The overwhelming feeling she got that it wasn’t disgust that made them look. It was primal, but not hatred. Norns, she wished it was hatred. Hatred she could deal with, she had plenty of experience after all. But this, this made the guard look and look and not stop looking. It made one guard stand right up against the glass of her cell and bore his eyes all over her body. The flimsy white shapeless gown she was wearing offered no protection. He stood there staring, and she had nowhere to hide or remove her deformed shape from his gaze. He had begun panting and put one hand down the front of his pants. His hand moved in a jerking motion, faster and faster as he panted and panted. Then he had grunted, stilling before removing his hand and giving her a leer. Yeah, she fucking hated this form. 

She emerged into the forest from the stairs leading down to the dungeon just as the sun finished setting. A sardonic grin flitter across her face. How just like her father, her newest punishment was to not receive any daylight while she was in her female form. And Norns forbid she caught even a glimpse of the setting sun, for that would undermine all the hard work the All Father was doing sitting in his gilded throne while she moulded away in the dungeon. 

She followed the guard as he led her a short distance to an open glade. It surprised her to see her father pacing around, muttering to himself. Automatically both she and the guard went to their knees and bowed their head. 

“Your dismissed,” Odin stated. The guard bowed again before getting up and leaving. An icy wind blew through the glade, and Loki leaned into it gratefully. Her body drinking in the freezing air with relief. She could see goose-pimples' erupt on Odin’s arms and hid her smile. She had always done brilliantly in the cold and privately lorded it over everyone else when they complained of the chill. 

“Rise, child,” Odin commanded, not looking at her. Loki long since immune to the fact her father found the sight of her female form repulsive stood and waited. 

“Asgard has a problem, one that you are in a unique position to help your kingdom with,” Odin began. “There is a builder in this forest. He has plan to do unspeakable things to Lady Freyja and ruin her forevermore.” 

Loki gasped, horrified. To have unspeakable things happen to you and then to find yourself ruined was a terrible fate. Although Loki didn’t actually know what exactly that entailed. Apparently the unspeakable was just that, at least when the royal children were in hearing distance. She had asked Thor once and after much blustering he admitted that he didn’t know what it was either, just that it was bad and something to be avoided at all cost. To be ruined though, that she understood. She had seen what happened to someone when they were ruined. The lady in question was stripped of her family name and thrown out of her pack. With no name and no pack, it forced her to accept the lowest of inferior positions in order to feed herself. The Last Loki heard she was doing back braking labour in the mines. 

“The Builder had a stallion, Svaðilfari, that he is using to help him. The kingdom needs you to distract Svaðilfari. Although I fear perhaps you are still a child and not the adult your age marks you as. Are you ready for such honours to come your way?” 

Loki straightened up. Her kingdom needed her, this was something she had been training for her entire life. As a royal, it was her duty to help and defend the kingdom. Something that she had been busting her gut to have the opportunity to do. Both Thor and her had played many a game where they got the chance to prove themselves to both the kingdom and to their father. For Loki to get this chance now was a wish come true, even better she got the chance before Thor did. 

“I will do whatever is necessary, Father, I swear it.” She promised. 

“Good, good,” Odin replied, looking out at the forest. “Change into your equine form, it is in this way that I plan for you to distract Svaðilfari.” 

Loki obligingly shifted into her mare form. 

<I am ready Father>

For the first time that night Odin turn and looked at her. He nodded his head as he looked at her horse shape. “If you stay in this form until sunrise, I will grant you two candle marks in the sun come tomorrow.” 

<Really?> Loki asked astonished, Norns she craved sunlight. The month spent in dim darkness almost drove her to madness. She would prefer that Odin torture her physically instead of locking her away from the light of the sun. 

Odin waved his hand. A moment later her skin twitched as she felt a monitoring spell settle over her. 

“If you keep your world then I shall keep mine.” He spoke. 

<I will Father, just you wait>

“Hmm, we’ll see,” Odin pointed off to the right slightly. “The builder is that way.” 

Loki set off, mane streaming out behind her, and tail held high. Her hooves made a merry thudding sound as she made her way through the forest. She increased her speed a little, stretching her legs and enjoying the thrill of being allowed out while she was a female and being allowed to change shape. All because Odin and Asgard needed her help. Well, she wouldn’t let either of them down. 

Her ears swivelled as she heard the sounds of hammering. Gracefully swerving, she turned in the direction the sounds were coming from. Slowing to a trot, then a walk, she cautiously crept closer until she was hidden behind two trees. Peeking her head out, she saw a cloaked figure hammering away on the wall her father was having built to protect the realm. A stallion hauling enormous stones came up beside him. It confused Loki. She had watched him long enough to see that he wasn’t wreaking the wall but building it. It seemed an odd thing for someone to do when they had plans of ruining one of the noble Ladies of court. 

Still, she encountered idiots everywhere she went. What was one more? Firming up her resolve, she burst from between the trees. Galloping down towards them she bashed into the builder knocking him from his feet, rearing up she flailed her hooves before Svaðilfari. The stallion flinched back, then his nostrils flared as he caught her scent. His ears pricked forward with interest and he gave a bellowing neigh. Loki spun on her back legs and turned, galloping off, going deeper into the forest. She could hear the screams of fury and excitement Svaðilfari was making, and the sounds of snapping and splintering as he broke from his harness. Then came the sounds of heavy hooves pounding into the earth. The chase was on. 

She flew through the forest trees, brushing past her in the blink of an eye as she led him over hills and through creeks, going deeper and deeper into the heart of the forest. Weaving in and out through the trees, Svaðilfari could never quiet catch her. He was stronger and had far more powerful muscles, but she was slimmer and more agile and she used that to her advantage. Still, she couldn’t keep running forever. By now they were miles and miles away from both Asgard and the builder by the wall. It would take hours for Svaðilfari to return and that was if he flat out galloped back. 

Slowly she turned, ready to fight him if needed, but he didn’t attack her. Instead, he circled around her, stretching his neck to sniff her. Nostrils flaring, he took in lungful after lungful of her scent. Tossing his head, he arched his neck and pranced before her. 

Coming to a stop, Loki looked at him, bemused. What was he doing? He walked behind her and she twisted her neck to watch him. He reared up, then started climbing her back. What the Hel? Did he expect her to give him a piggyback ride? She shot forward, dislodging him. Svaðilfari bellowed out a loud neigh of command and ran up to her, giving her a hard nudge in remand. She snorted back at him, not impressed. This time when he jumped onto her back, he lent his head forward, bit her on the neck, holding her in place. She could feel her pheromones begin to rise and realised in a panic that he had just placed a mating bite on her. Tossing her head, she broke the bite so that it was nothing longer lasting than a Night Bite. But it had done its job of keeping her still long enough. 

_Oh Norns, he is entering me; he is pushing something inside of me!_ She thought franticly. The Mare part of her brain was keeping her still, accepting that Svaðilfari had won his right to this. But the rest of her was freaking out. She did not know what was happening to her, what he was doing. Why was he doing this? This was wrong! She didn’t want this! Her mare brain said that he had run them down, he had the right to mate with them. Loki felt sick, Mating! Was this what mating was? She didn’t want her first time being mated to be with a stallion in the forest. She wanted it to be on her wedding night with her mate, her Permanente mate, not some beast that was pounding himself into her having place a Night bite on her neck. 

Her father, he had placed a monitor spell on her, he could sense what was happening and he would come to her rescue. Yes, she was supposed to do her duty but there was no way her father meant this; this was not supposed to happen. She would go back to Odin and confess that she wasn’t ready to help the kingdom after all. Accepting the humiliation of being treated as a child for she had not been prepared for this task after all. 

<Help, help, Father, help me!> She screamed out. 

Nothing but her echo pleas for help came back to her. There were no sounds of hooves coming in her direction, no sound of warriors yelling their outrage. Only the grunting and the rapid wet slapping drumming that Svaðilfari was producing. Even the natural sounds of the nature had died away. Until all she could hear was her heart pounding away and the horrendous noises of the mating. 

By the time Svaðilfari dismounted, Loki’s complete body was trembling with shock. She felt dirty and violated, the wetness he had placed within her was trickling out, sticking to her back legs. Wide eye she panted head lowed. If that was what mating was, she hated it. She was never doing that again. She kept an eye of Svaðilfari as she got her strength back as soon as she could she was getting out of here. 

Svaðilfari who had been grazing on grass walked back over to her, He reared up and Loki bolted. She didn’t dare change shape for what if he caught her again? The long black thing between his legs had already been huge. Flopping grotesquely as the stallion moved from one spot to another, eating all the fresh shoots of grass. It had astounded Loki that it had fit inside of her. It had felt massive, but she hadn’t realised just how long it was. Then before her terrified eyes, it became firmer, no longer flapping around but curving and standing up, then lengthened even more, growing to monstrous size. It would rip her human form in half should he catch her and attempt to mate with her. He had her scent, and she wore his Mark. There would be no hiding from him. Her only chance lay in her abilities to outrun him. 

Fear sending a fresh surge of power to her legs, Loki ran with everything she had. 

Come daybreak it is a shell-shocked Loki who stumbles into the clearing. Svaðilfari had run her down and mated her three more times during the night. Each time the chase added to his excitement, and he was fully erect by the time he caught her. The thrill of besting her made him pound into her all the harder. Each time lasting longer than the time before as the stallion drew out his pleasure for as long as he could before flooding her inside with his seed. The only positive was she had managed to keep him from biting her again. The last thing she wanted was for the mating mark to exist past the twenty-four candle marks a Night bite lasted for. 

As the sun’s rays rose, Odin nodded at her and she instantly shifted back into her Æsir form. Then promptly collapsed onto the ground. Odin walked over to her and sliding some gloves on, grabbed her chin, tilting her head back to better see the Night Bite on her throat. 

“Good,” He said pleased “You got to have your fun whilst doing your duty,” and gave the bite a joyful slap. Loki coughed and as soon as he released her, her hand flew to the Mark coving it. The slap had aggravated to sore red swelling around the bite and made it impossible for Loki to forget that it was there. 

“So, there is some use to your deformity after all. That is good to know,” Odin mused once again, not looking at her. “You were adequate at distracting Svaðilfari so I will keep my word. The guards will allow you to stay here for two candle marks before they take you back to your cell.” 

Loki looked up at Odin, betrayed. There were trees surrounding this glade. She would get nothing but dappled light. It would take the sun three candle marks to rise far enough up to shine above the trees. 

_So, this,_ she thought savagely, _is what the word of the king and my pack leader is worth. I sacrificed more that I agreed to, and this is how I am repaid. He places a spell on me to make sure I keep my word, but doesn’t come to my aid when the spell tells him I am in distress. For what is the distress of the princess? I am the worthless one, the deformed one. Had I been a prince, it would have been a different story altogether. Had Thor been in my place he would have being sent into the forest with a set of guards and the monitoring spell would have been placed for his own safety. Even when I am a prince, he treats not as he ought. For even then, even when my gender is the correct one, my Pack Leader cannot forget that I am tainted. How many times had he asked me when I am a prince if it is a trick, If I feel like a girl that is just wearing a boy’s skin? No matter how many times I tell him that each skin is natural, that when I wear the male form, I am male and vice versa. I do not satisfy him with the reply._

_And now, oh now, he is pleased because he found a use for my deformity. Well, he is in for a rude awaking. I am never allowing him to mate me off to someone for the “good of the Kingdom” again. I don’t care if a hundred ladies might be ruined if I don’t. The dam ladies can get off their dainty little behinds and do something to protect themselves._ She would remember this. And the next time the King asked her to do her duty for the kingdom, well, she would not be giving it her full effort after all. 

Much to Loki’s shock, the next time came around a lot sooner that she had thought. The guards were back at her cell the very next night. But this time she would not go meekly. Following the guards like an innocent lamb to the slaughter, oh no, fool her once shame on them fool her twice..... well she had quite enough shame thanks very much she needed no more. 

Loki knew it would be pointless to try to fight the guards or even to run. She had done both things multiple times when she was younger and they first started taking her to the dungeon. Instead, she was going to be smart about this. No doubt the All Father wanted her to repeat what happened last night, she would use this to her advantage. Odin would see her transform into a mare and run off into the forest, but once she was out of his sight, she would change into an animal more suited to hiding in the forest. Svaðilfari would not be finding and mating with her again. Oh, he would scent her. The Night Bite still hadn’t faded. But there was no reason why she couldn’t lead him on a merry chase without him every getting his prize. She had learnt her lesson; she could never outrun him on four legs. Not being a noble idiot like her elder brother, Loki had no plan to bet him at his game. She wouldn’t bother running on legs at all, instead she would use wings to keep her out of his reach. 

Odin was once again waiting in the glade. 

“It pleases me greatly to see you willing to help our kingdom, and our subjects,” He began still not looking at her directly. “it’s deeds like this that show me you are true in your pledge to do your duty as Prince. And I shall note it and give you more such deeds in every increasing skill and importance as you age.” 

Loki’s outrage made her deaf to the pride in Odin’s voice. Something that she so rarely received. 

“Have fun tonight, and I’ll meet you here come day break. I will offer the same reward as before, two hours of sunlight. Once your deformity period has ceased, I will embrace you with open arms and if you like I will allow you to have a small feast to celebrate your success.” He nodded in her direction. 

Biting her tongue so the venom she could feel forcing its way up her throat wouldn’t erupt, she hastily transformed into her mare shape. Her pack leader had shown once again that he did not know her at all. The public embrace would have been nice. To have the entire court, see that she had earned Odin favour was not something to be sneered at. But the fact he would only preform it if she was male despite achieving the task he set before her made the entire affair fake and shallow. If Odin would not embrace Loki accepting all that she was, then she didn’t want the half assed token. 

And as for a feast, she was no Thor; she had no great desire to hold a feast and furthermore had no one except her brother in whom to invite. A far better reward would have been access to the restricted part of the library. Even to be allowed to read a single book that was kept behind wards and spells would have been appreciated. Oh, there was nothing that could be worth what she had gone through, but something to look forward to would have been nice. 

She galloped away into the forest and once she was far enough; she shifted into one of her more favourite shape. This creature was swift and agile. Had a curious mind that matched hers and a tendency for mischief. The black and white bird cocked her head listing then in a flurry of wings took off. She flew above the treetops, then caught a current soaring effortless, a sea of green below her and the entire realm open to her. She stayed this way for some time before with a sigh she folded her winds and dove back down into the forest. Odin’s monition spell would alert him should she attempt to leave the forest. 

Once back amount the trees she flitted from branch-to-branch listing and looking. There! Warbling she called out a cheeky tune to Svaðilfari, mocking him. The stallion snorted in outrage before rearing up, front hooves slashing out as he tried to prove his dominance. 

Loki scoffed and using the wide range of vocal sounds this shape could make made sure the stallion got just how unimpressed she was. Had the beast been able to speak she would have used her all speak to fling down insults, as it was Svaðilfari was intelligent enough to get that Loki was dismissing him. Bellowing in outrage, Svaðilfari galloped towards her. Laughing, Loki simply flapped from one tree to the next. Watching with glee as the horse slammed into the tree trunk. Enraged Svaðilfari turned and shot after her again. In this manner Loki led him on a chase much more suit to her taste. She teased and mocked him, letting him get close then flying off. Never far, just out of his reach and then sung the most jeering tunes. 

As much fun as she was having with this, it did not make up for what she had suffered through the night before. Wanting to cause more hurt to him and not feeling kindly towards her pack leader, she led Svaðilfari back to where she had last seen the builder working away on the wall. 

Once they were close enough, the builder came towards them. By this stage Svaðilfari was bellowing in rage and Loki was screaming jeers back. Even a deaf person would have known that they were coming. The builder skilfully threw a lasso and tighten it once it slipped down Svaðilfari's neck. Starting him in shock, having been far too focused on Loki to see the builder sneak up on him. The builder took advantage of this and swiftly had Svaðilfari tied to a tree. He then proceeded to place hobbles on the struggling stallion and with Loki swooping around Svaðilfari's head distracting him got a halter placed securely. 

Stepping back from the now bounded Stallion the builder panted then limped over to the wall, tying the stallion up had not been without its risks and he was worn out and covered in bruises, before sliding down it sitting with his back resting against it. 

“I thank thee for thy help,” He said to Loki, who was perched up in a tree. 

<Trust me, it was my pleasure,> she replied. 

“Oh ho, a shape changer art thou?” He said delighted. “It has been many a season since I have been so blessed to come across thy kind.” 

Loki ruffled her feathers, pleased. It was rare indeed for her to find someone who found her shape changing to be a good thing instead of a nuisance. 

“I don’t suppose thou has been here before? In a shape of a lovely mare?” 

Loki turned her head away; she didn’t want to be reminded of it. 

“Ah, lass,” The builder said, “How old art thee?” 

<Thirteen,> Loki replied only to watch the builder reel back with shock. 

“Norns, thou art but a child, what art thou doing here? Where is thy pack?” 

<I’m not a child!> Loki retorted stun. <I began my womanly cycles when I was twelve, by Asgardian law that makes me grown!>

The builder held up his hands in apologies. “Forgive me, among my people thy would still be a child, we find that the body matures fast then the brain and as such have declare that all are still a child until they art twenty.” 

Loki hopped uncertainty. The Asgardian’s while acknowledging that you were an adult once you reach sexual maturity still kept you under the guidance of your parents until you reach twenty unless you got married. And then depending on who’s pack was stronger, you would live under the rule of that pack leader. 

“Was it thou idea to take thy mare shape?” 

<No, it was my Pack leaders>

The builder grimaced. “I had expected some challenge, but never did it occur to me they would use an innocent thus.” 

<What do you mean?>

“To explain, let me ask you this, why were you out here last night? What was your purpose?” 

<To distract Svaðilfari,> Loki said shamefully <He is nothing but a beast, I should have been able to easily distract him and keep out of his reach>

“Oh, Lass, I’m so very sorry. Thou should have never been in this position and to have suffered such attentions,” He bowed his head. “I apologise for mine part in it. I know not if it will give thee any comfort, but Svaðilfari is no dumb beast. He doesn’t talk, but for all that he is as intelligent as I.” 

Loki cocked her head. On one hand, no it didn’t make what happened any better but on the other she did at least take comfort in the fact a common beast had not outwitted her. 

<Why are you here?> she asked both to change the subject and because she was curious, had what her Pack leader told her been the truth? Or had it been the truth as seen through the All-Father’s eyes? 

“The All Father sent out a request for a builder to create a wall to protect his realm. Many answered his call, but only I had the skills and seiðr needed for such a task. When I told him my price for such a work of mastery, he refused such a sum, and so we entered into negotiation. We came to an accord. I would complete the work in a moon cycle with non-other to help me except for Svaðilfari, and in return he offered me the hand of Lady Freyja to become my wife.” 

<Oh, that was not what I heard,> Loki said sheepishly. 

The builder snorted “Nay, thou would not, more likely thou was told I am a craven beast set out to ruin the maiden fair?” 

Loki shifted on the branch she was perched on. <Something like that,> She agreed. <I am sorry for stopping you from completing your word>

“No need, for even without Svaðilfari’s help, I finished the wall. Come the morrow, thou and I will go before the All father. I to claim my wife, and thou to be paid remittance for being so misled in thy quest.” 

Loki ruffled her feather. Would Odin give her remittance? Was that a thing Kings did? The builder sounded so sure that she guessed it must be true. 

“Fiend!” Came the angry bellow from a familiar voice. Thor crashed into the glad. The builder tried to get to his feet, but Thor rushed and tackled him, causing the builder to crack his head on the wall on his way down. 

<No,> Loki cried out, but her voice was lost in the sound of Thor and the builder shouting. Thor picked up the Builders hammer and swung it with all the power in his arms. It crashed against the builder’s head and he dropped like they cut all his strings. 

Loki was frozen in the tree, hardly breathing. Had she just witnessed her brother’s first kill? Thor’s entire body was shaking and Loki dared not move, afraid to trigger Thor. Her brother had a bit of a temper, but it was like the storm he was the god of a lot of noise with the odd flash of limbs than it was over and done with. Thor had never been one to hold a grudge. Nor was he the sort to fight without cause. All of which meant that they have fed him the same lies she had received about who this builder was and what his intent was. 

Sure enough, Odin came through the trees a moment later. 

“Father,” Thor said shakily turning to him “Father, did it work? Did I protect the kingdom?” 

Odin clapped him on the back. 

“Indeed, my son, I’m proud of you.” Thor smiled weakly. “Fear not my son. All men feel uneasy after blooding their hands for the first time. But here this should help you sleep tonight.” 

Odin kicked the body, and it flopped onto its back, the hood falling from the builder’s face for the first time. 

“Monster!” Thor gasped. Loki stared at the blue-skinned man blankly. He was _Jötunn!_ She was struggling to consolidate the kind builder with his calm words with the horror stories of beastly dumb giants. How could he be Jötunn?It just didn’t make any kind of sense. 

While the sight had thrown Loki for a loop, it had calmed Thor down, helping him settle things in his head. 

“You wielded that hammer with some skill,” Odin said, Thor drinking in the praise. “I believe I know what weapon I will present you with. How does the thought of having Mjölnir as your weapon sound?” 

Thor beamed, delighted 

“It sounds perfect, father.” 

Odin game him another manly slap to his shoulder then looked around with a frown 

“Have you seen your brother anywhere in the forest tonight?” 

“No Father, Is Loki my brother again? I thought he was still my sister?” 

Odin grimaced at Thor’s simplistic view of the world. 

“Loki is always your brother,” He began only to be overridden by Thor’s blunt honesty 

“Yes, except for when those times Loki is my sister,” 

“Come, we will not talk of this now. I need you to help search for Loki, I fear some ill will may have befallen him. I allowed him to start playing bed sports, but I fear he did not take to it as you did.” 

Thor looked uncertain. “Father,” He began hesitantly “When you first allowed me to learn the pleasures of the flesh you informed me, I was not to bother the young maids because unlike males bed sports didn’t bring them pleasure the first couple of times.” 

“Aye, that is true,” Odin agreed “Where are you going with this line of thought?” 

“Is Loki still a maid? Did she know she was getting to play such games?” 

Odin's face clouded over and he paused for a moment before saying gruffly. “No more of that, come help me find you brother” 

Loki was sitting in the glade by the dungeon watching the moon set when Odin caught up to her. He frowned as he looked at her from the corner of his eye, like there was a thought that was bothering him about her appearance and it would not go away. They exchanged no words between them as Odin escorted her down to her cell himself and locked her in. 

It was more than Loki could have hoped for. No guards and no lecture from her Pack Leader. She was so relieved she happily went into her cell. She could use some uninterrupted time to think about all that had happened. 


	2. Chapter 2

“I can’t be pregnant, I’m not married!” Loki cried out in alarm when the healer informed Odin why Loki had not turned back into a male after the normal month. 

“Oh, for fuck’s sakes,” The healer snapped and ignoring Odin's command to leave it be said bluntly. “Did a male put his penis in you and fill you with his seed?” 

“ye, yes?” 

“Right, well, that’s all you need to become pregnant.” 

Loki gaped at her. That was all that was needed! It went against everything the scholars had taught her. Did her brother know this? For he took great delight in filling as many females with his seed as he could. He had been boasting about it to her ever since Odin had first allowed him the play bed sports. 

“Your dismissed,” Odin snapped the healer took one look at his thunderous face bobbed a quick curtsy and fled the dungeons. 

“You!” Odin snarled at her. Loki shrank back against the bed. The pheromones of fury, anger, disappointment and righteous rage were pouring out of Odin, drowning the entire cell. Loki whined softly, submitting, not wanting her Pack leaders’ anger on her anymore. Odin grabbed her by the back of her head and slap her across the face. At first she felt nothing, the loud sound ringing in her ears, then her senses came back online. Her cheek blazed with heat, brief flickers of flames shot through her jaw and skull with every miniscule movement. Her eye watered, spilling over, the saltiness of the tears burning her already inflamed cheek. 

“You Slut!” He hissed; eyes black with rage. “You little whore.” He shook her unresisting body, causing her teeth to rattle in her skull. “What have you done? Spreading your legs like a strumpet, letting the guards have their way with you. How many men did you seduce? HOW MANY?” he roared the last in her face. 

“Alpha, alpha, none, I swear it, I swear,” Loki pleaded. Eye wide and body trembling as she desperately tried to prove her innocence. Odin threw her from him. For a moment her body was in free fall, nothing but air whistling past her. It was similar to how she felt when she flew. Then her back slammed into an unmoveable object. The impact forcing all the air from her body. Gasping fruitlessly, she slid down the wall until she landed in a crumpled heap. Despret she opened her mouth, finally drawing in air, her back throbbing in time with her heartbeat. 

“You have ruined yourself,” 

“No,” Loki croaked. “No Alpha please,” 

“How am I supposed to get a good marriage for you now? Who is going to want a man knowing that he is Ergi that he carried another male’s seed to term?” Odin thundered. 

Loki held out her hand in supplication, shaking her head. Releasing pheromone of submission and supplication. She bared her throat to her Pack Alpha and whine softly. Her words were falling on deaf ears, so she turned to body language. Showing her Alpha that she was sorry, begging for his forgiveness. Odin turned away from her and paced up and down the cell, calming himself. 

“This is what we are going to do, I will call a midwife in and get her to rid you of the spawn you carry. Then once you are male again. We will speak no more of this situation. There is a chance I can still salvage it. Although the guards on your cell will have to go. We can’t have them spreading rumours.” 

Loki’s complete body was tight with tension and pain, but she was aware enough that she could have spoken up for the guards. The thing was, they had treated Loki horrendously, and she wasn’t inclined to put the effort in to speak up, especially since Odin wasn’t listening to her when she was telling the truth, anyway. 

She stayed where she was, afraid to move a muscle in case it brought Odin's wrath down on her again. Odin was busy speaking to the midwife, an older squirrelly looking woman demanding that she rid Loki of the babe she carried. The Midwife pursed her lips but said nothing. Instead, she opened her bag and before Odin's gaze ground up various herbs and plants before brewing them in a tea. Once it had steeped for the required time, the midwife poured a goblet full and entered Loki’s cell, handing it to her. 

“It will taste right foul, but you need to drink every last drop. And Lass as foul as it is hot it is twice as terrible cold.” 

Loki nodded to show she had understood and slowly sat up, being careful not to spill a single drop. Gazing down into the watery depths, a tiny voice in the back of her mind whispered. _Why should the babe have to die? It has done nothing wrong._ Loki swirled the goblet, not raising her head, thinking. _Are you going to become like the rest then? Making a child have to pay for the sins of the father?_

“What,” Loki croaked, then cleared her throat and asked again, “What will happen if I don’t drink?” 

Odin’s face closed off and he said coldly. “If you do not drink, then you will stay here until you whelp the Kit.” 

Loki's breath stuttered, Stay here, in the darkness and gloom? She had been here for over a month already and her mind was screaming for light, for sunshine. Turning to the midwife, she timidly asked 

“How long? How long before the Kit comes out?” 

The midwife shifted awkwardly then firmed up her resolved and straighten her back said clinically. 

“The Æsir gestation period is seventy-five years.” 

“Just Æsir?” Odin briskly asked, a secret swinging behind his eyes. 

“Ah no, my King, all the Long-lived races are pregnant for seventy-five years.” 

Loki’s eyes nearly popped out of her head. Seventy-five years, Norns. If she did this, she would spend the majority of her thirteenth age in darkness. It would only leave her with fifteen years before her fourteenth age. Her hand shook, the tea sloshing around in the goblet. She didn’t think she could last another month in darkness, let alone years. Shakily, she raised the gobbet to her lips. She could feel the cool metal caressing her bottom lip and the hot steam of the tea floating up brushing against her upper lip, her nose and sweeping across her cheeks. She could smell the death the tea contained. Its pungent rotting aroma sticking to her skin. Whispering sweet lies, that it would make all the bad disappear, that everything would be better once she drank. Odin would see that she was an obedient child and welcome her back into the pack once again. 

Loki knew better. She was the god of lies, after all. There were some who could still fool her, but as she aged that number got fewer and fewer until it left only Odin. Unbeknown to the All father he had told his last lie that Loki would believe. The lie about the builder had led to so many unpleasant consequences that she would not be fooled by him again. 

“No!” She snarled, throwing the gobbet away from her and taking perverse delight at the way the tea splashed against the ground outside her cell, the sprays hitting and soaking into both the midwife’s and Odin’s cloths. 

“So be it,” Odin said, voice coldly furious. The click of her cell door locking sounded incredibly loud. “You will not leave this cell until you are male once more. No matter how long that takes.” He stated then turned and walked away taking the torches with him. The midwife hurriedly grabbed her bad and scurried after him, leaving Loki alone in the dark with a single candle as her only source of light. 

* * *

At first Loki could not be convinced she was pregnant. She felt just the same as she did before, and her tummy was not round as a ball but flat like normal. There were countless time in that first year when Loki's resolve cracked when the darkness pressed down on her. She forgot what sunlight looked like and she shouted she had changed her mind. That she would drink whatever poison they gave her, if they could let only her out. She would scream and shout until her throat felt like it had razor blades coating it and it reduced her voice to a horse wheeze. 

Odin had ordered that everyone was to stay away and had the pervious guards executed, reinforcing everyone's desires to not be anywhere near Loki’s cell. No living thing heard Loki’s pleas. 

Then system appeared. She becomes tired a lot quicker; she is nauseous from the moment she wakes to the moment she sleeps. Parts of her body become overly tender and ache. Parts that don’t belong in her male form. Her emotions swing from one to another, leaving her reeling and unsure what’s going on. The uncertainty only increased the emotions power making them grown. 

Wrath had hold of her and she slammed her fists against the cage wall again and again. Opening her mouth, all the rage, fury and ever-increasing feeling of being trapped came pouring out like a tornado as a scream. She continued producing the nose until her throat was bleeding, then her emotions flipped and she crumpled to a heap, weeping. 

_I hate being female. None of this would have happened if my stupid body had just stayed male like I mean it to. Odin would love me and treat me like a proper part of his family and pack. I wouldn’t be the outcast but a part of the court if I could just stop turning into a fucking weak, ugly, deformed thing._

She took a shuddering breath. _I deserve this, Odin is right, I brought all of this on myself. It’s my fault Svaðilfari chased me. I must have asked for it, for him to shove his monstrous thing that hung between his legs into me again and again. He would have never done it had I been a proper male. Which means I did encourage the guards. This disgusting form made them lose their honour and their lives. I asked for them to pierce me with their stares. Oh, Norns, I flaunted this wretched shape before them, forcing them to look at my deformities. I made good men become beast. I am a curse. Even when I am male, this disease lives within me. I am not a true male at all but Ergi; I bring nothing but shame and dishonour to my pack and the court, even to the Kingdom. Norns Odin should have drowned me at birth. It would have been better for all had I never existed._

She gazed blindly out of her cell, not seeing the rough stone wall. There was a knife on her dinner tray. The blade was sharp and the candlelight glinting off the wicked point. It drew her focus until all she could see was the knife looming in her vision. Slowly she got to her feet and as if in a dream walked over to the knife, picking it up. She tilted the hilt, watching the light reflect along the blade as she twisted it slowly one direction then the other. She could do it. Her skills with a blade were far better than with any other weapon. And she had been taught enough to know where the best places to aim for were. She could fix the problem of her existence. Odin could not have her killed. If he did, he would be a kin slayer cursed for the rest of his life. The Norns were swift to act against kin-slayers having a particular hatred for them. However, there was nothing from preventing her taking her own life. 

She pressed the point against her skin, then froze. There was the tiniest flutter in her womb. It had been so soft and gently, like butterfly wings briefly brushing against her skin. She remembered she wasn’t alone down here, that it was not just her life that hung in the balance. That whatever fate befell her would also fall upon the unborn babe. All colour drained from her face and she hurled the knife away, stumbling to the furthers corner, both hands wrapped protectively over her stomach. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry” She franticly pleaded “Forgive me little one, I forgot. But I won’t forget again. I will do better, I promise. I’ll make things right for us, just you wait. Don’t give up on me now, I swear I will do all in my power to make things better.” She bit her lip and held her breath, waiting for a reply. She had almost given up when she was granted with a second tiny flutter. Breaking down in tears, she curled around her stomach, both hands placed carefully over her womb. These tears unlike all the other ones she had shed felt cleaner lighter washing away the oily darkness that had been clinging to her. 

The first thing she did was bring more light to her cell. She closed her eyes and drew deeply on her Seiðr yes it was an ergi, womanly art but fuck it all she was a woman at the moment. Sending the Seiðr out, she soaked it into every bit of moss and fungi that was growing on the stones surrounding her cell, of which there was a lot, far more than what she had noticed under candle or torch light. She then encouraged all the flora to become bioluminescent. Panting slowly, she withdrew her Seiðr. It had been such a long time since she had used it; she had become rusty, and the magic took far too much out of her. Well, that was another thing that was going to change. She didn’t care how Ergi it was, even when she was male, she would keep up with her practicing and work on improving her skills and knowledge. 

Opening her eyes, she couldn’t tell if the Seiðr had worked or not. There was only one way to know for sure. Taking a deep breath, she reached out, her fingers trembling, and hesitated before snuffing out the flame from the candle. 

Darkness. 

At first that was all she could sense, it seemed to press down on her blanking all her other senses. But then slowly, one after another, the plant life glowed. To start with it was so faint that it was little more than just hints of colour at the edge of her vision, but then the longer she waited with no other light source the stronger the bioluminescent got. Loki looked around her in wonder. They were not uniform, but shone in different colours, every shade of blue, green and purple imaginable came forth turning what had been a dreary monochrome cell into an enchanted magical place. 

“Look, little one,” Loki breathed in wonder. “Look what we managed to do.” She did not know how long she sat staring at the beautiful landscape around her. It could have been anything from minutes to hours. There was so much to see and wonder over that Loki knew she could easily stare at it for years to come and still find something new to see. Curled up in bed with the wash of blues and greens gently lapping over her, she went to sleep with a smile on her face for the first time in a very long time. 

* * *

The midwife would come to check on her once a year. Loki always knew in advance when she was coming, as the bioluminescence would turn off as the torchlight got nearer and nearer. It always left Loki squinting and blinking in the harsh light of the fire compared to the gentle light of her plants. Even though the amount they produced was the same. 

The midwife was always abrupt and brusque with her. Touching her with rough, hurried hands that only stayed on her for as long as necessary and not a moment more. She would answer one, maybe two of Loki’s question and no more before she turned and left again, shivering constantly from the cold of Loki’s cell. Loki had never been more glad in her life that cold temperature had no effect on her. For this deep underground, the dungeons were never warm. 

With each visit Loki grew to hater her a little bit more and asked her less and less questions until the last couple of visits Loki refused to talk to her at all. Not answering the midwife’s hurried question and refusing to cooperate. 

She huffed, annoyed. “Look, chuck your tantrum if you want it makes no difference to me. When the whelping time comes, call out for me and I’ll assist you through the process.” She then took her torch and stormed out of there. Loki's lip curled with derision. There was no way she would call on her. She wouldn’t put it pass the old crone to doing something at the birth so that Loki’s kit would be stillborn. She rubbed a hand against her protruding stomach, purring loudly, taking delight at the feeling of her babe’s movements. 

Her Kit was strong, and a fighter, Loki was going to make sure they were born and given every chance to grow up and be all that they could be. 

The long isolation period had been good for one thing. Loki’s grasp and control of her Seiðr grew and grew with every year until she was discovering how to do things she had never heard of others doing. She could see hidden pathways and cracks in reality that begged to be explored. The only reason she did not was because she was stuck in her cell. But she promised herself and her kit that as soon as they were free, she would take them both on an adventure. They would discover together where the hidden paths between the worlds went to. 

* * *

She woke up in the middle of her sleep cycle for no reason she could perceive. She was not hungry and currently was comfortable. Her stomach was so distended now that she could only sleep if she placed her pillows in a long line beside her and rested her stomach and leg on top of it, taking the weight off her back and hips. The plants were still glowing in their soothing colours. The midwife wasn’t due to check on her for another six months. 

Then a bolt of pain coming from her hips shot all the way up her spin. Loki hissed. Norns, was it time? Was her kit coming now? She had become tireder and tireder of late, so she didn’t bother to move from her spot instead she closed her eyes, gathering her strength. The midwife had just given her enough titbits that she knew this process would both take time and would wear her out. She should rest while she still could. 

Loki spent the next two weeks becoming more and more restless as the shooting pain comes quicker and quicker. She was slowly waddling from one side of her cell to the next when a sudden splash of warm wetness came from between her legs. Her waters had broken. Taking a deep breath, Loki slowly struggled as she removed her gown and made her way over to the corner where she had made herself a birthing nest. Instinct had driven the design, and she scavenged everything she could to make it as good as it could be with her limited resources. She had pulled the mattress from her bed and shoving as far into the corner as she could before making a wall of pillows. Loki scrunched all of her bedding up in the centre, making it a very comfortable nest that she had been resting in for the last fortnight. She clambering into the middle then spent some time fluffing the pillows and getting the blankets just right in-between contractions. She had already scented each item and now the calming pheromones of love and bonding with her kit rose, surrounded her and helping her to not panic. 

Another bolt of pain hit her, followed by the overwhelming urge to bare down and push. Listing to her instincts, Loki did exactly that. She continued to push, hyperventilating, and it was only now that she had come to the last stage that she lost control of her Seiðr. Eyes screwed shut with her next lot of pushing it slipped from her lashing out making the rocks sing with the amount of power that splashed against them. Loki had no attention to spare for it and could only pray that Odin was away from the palace at the moment. He would have felt that otherwise. 

Baring down again, Loki felt the first part of her kit emerge. She rapidly panted before pushing again. More of her kit came out and with one last push she felt her kit slip free. Opening her eyes, she screamed in fear and rage. Torchlight flooded her cell and Odin loomed over her. His shadow falling on her like a death curse eye glared down at her. He reached down and, ignoring her scream of protest, grabbed her kit. Loki saw a brief glimpse, enough to know it was a foal before a knife flashed. 

“NOOOOOO” She bellowed, trying to move but unable to do more than half sit up before collapsing again. She felt something tug against her and watched as Odin slashed through the cord that connected her to her Kit before turning his back on her and walking away. The torches going out once he was gone. 

Her kit, her little one. She didn’t even have time to hold her babe before Odin took them away from her. She did not know what their sex was or even what they really looked like. Having only glimpse one little hoof and a head both coated in blood. Fear for her babe rode her hard, not letting her rest as she tried again and again to rise from her birthing nest. But all her strength had gone into whelping and now she had now to spare. Hours later she gained enough control to calm herself and lay still gather both her strength and magic. 

He had deliberately left the door to her cell open. Even so, it took Loki two days to rise from the birthing nest. The only comfort she took was that she had not felt her Kit die, Odin had not killed her babe. On day three, she gathered enough Seiðr that she could rush her healing. By day four he felt the cooling sensation of his gender changing back. 

He slowly crept from his cell and begun the long journey back to his chambers, thanking the Norns that it was night he would have been blinded by the day. He was far too weak to attempt to find out anything on his kit. To do so now would be foolish in the extreme. Where his kit was, they were not in any pain and were being kept alive. If he wanted any chance of finding his kit and spending time with them, he had to be smart and sensible about this. 

Finally, he made it to his chambers. He entered his room and closed the door, feeling the old spells he had woven on them spring up behind him. 

Safe. 

Here he was safe. Removing the soiled gown, he gave himself the quickest wash-down in history then collapse naked onto his bed furs luxuriating at the feel before falling asleep. 

The first hints of the sun rising woke him up. Blinking rapidly, Loki walked over to his floor to ceiling window and, half shielding his eyes with his hands, watched the beautiful sight. Drinking in every vibrant colour, the soft pinks, dusky purples that gave way to warm oranges and glowing reds that appeared as the sun rose. It was only once the sun was well and truly in the sky did Loki turn to walk to his wardrobe to get dressed for the day. 

He joined the rest of the court as they gathered in the dining hall to break their fast. He sat amidst some no name courtiers snubbing Odin’s company completely. As this was Loki's typical behaviour every time they released him from locking him up, no one paid any attention to it. Not even Odin himself. 

Loki kept his eyes lowered and a sulky expression on his face appearing exactly as the court expected him to and then faded into the background. By keeping his mouth shut and his ears open, he listened to the gossip of the court, hoping to hear what had happened to his kit. 

“Remember the palace shaking the other day?” One guard was saying to a bunch of pretty courtiers. They all murmured in agreement. “Odin said it was heralding a great arrival, and everyone was trying to guess who right?” he lowered his voice dramatically and everyone leaned in closer. Loki used a bit of his Seiðr to make sure he wouldn’t miss a single word. 

“Well, I know who he was talking about. There is the most amazing foal in the king’s stables. One that is only a couple of days old.” 

The courtiers all gasped, covering the small noise Loki made. His kit! His kit was still in the palace grounds. Oh, this was wondrous news. Loki walked away once the guard started boasting about his feats of strength. How he longed to run to the king’s stables and see his kit. But he dare not. Odin was watching his every move, and his babe had a better chance of being treated right if Odin thought Loki had no interest in them. 

Loki made his was to his mother’s sunroom unprompted. She always called him to visit shortly after he returned, and he wanted to get the visit out of the way so that the summons wouldn’t occur during some inconvenient time. 

“Hello Mother,” He said, bowing to the Queen and other pack leader. He came further into the room with her beckoning, as saw Thor was visiting this morning as well. Loki gave a shallow head nod to the ladies-in-waiting but otherwise dismissed them. He kissed his mother’s cheek, then sat down on one cushion before her throne. 

“Oh Loki, you were ill for much longer this time,” Frigga fretted. Loki looked away, in no mood to pander to his mother’s made-up explanation for why her second child disappeared for months. 

“You were not in your roo....” Thor began, Loki swiftly kicked him in the shins. Thor bellowed in outrage and went to kick him back. Loki dogged, and it was on. Loki lost the wrestling match and limped back to his room with multiple bruises and a strain foot. The guards had thrown them out from their mother’s sunroom after receiving a scolding lecture on how to behave around gentle ladies. But his kick had done its job. Thor the big lug forgot completely what he had been saying. 

Loki did not know how he was doing it or if anyone was aware but whenever he was in his female form and Odin banished him to his rooms declaring none where to see him. Thor would come by at least once a day. He was too dim to realise that when Odin said no one was to see him, that included himself. 

He was the only person in the entire realm who didn’t treat Loki any different no matter what gender Loki currently was. Thor also always used the right pronouns. Something Loki knew he was doing instinctively as Loki was dam sure Thor didn’t even know what personal pronouns were let alone how to use them. 

While Loki always scowled and made a fuss, secretly Thor’s visit helped her get through her period of isolation. It was the only time when she was content to sit and listen to Thor brag about his exploits. She never told Thor that though, and she never would. The last thing she needed was another thing that Thor could hold over her head. 

Loki was more than prepared to suffer the pain of a couple of bruises in order to keep that secret a secret. 

In the end, it took a month before Loki caused enough mischief that drew all eyes away from the Kings stable. He slipped silently into the well-built wooden barn while the court ran around in a headless flutter. He checked stall after stall and only when he came to the biggest one did he find what he was looking for. An old mare was sleeping in the corner and laying in the middle with fresh straw knee deep around them was a little foal. 

“Oh,” Loki breathed, smitten. He slipped into the stall, closing the door behind him, then sat down. The foal looked at him with big liquid eyes, then ducked their head, blinked shyly. They were a deep ebony, not a hint of any other colour marring their skin. Loki let out a soft purr, one little ear twitch towards him, then the other follow and finally the little head peeked in his direction. Loki continued to purr, he saw the small nostrils flare as the foal drank in in all the love and care that Loki was releasing. Shakily the foal got to his feet and Loki smiled delighted a colt, his kit was a boy. He had eight legs and even with the extra limbs he was still wobbly. His smiled grew as the colt clumsily staggered over to him, acting as if the ground was surging under his feet, all eight legs spread wide to help keep his body up. Each hoof was placed down unsurely like the colt wasn’t convinced the ground would remain stable beneath him. Then he plonked himself into Loki’s lap, resting his little head on Loki’s leg and looked up at him, love shining through his eyes. 

Reverently Loki stroked the colt’s body, finally, finally able to hold his son in his arms. He lent down and placed a kiss on his kit’s head. 

“Welcome to the world, Sleipnir Lokison.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright lay it on me.... tell me your thoughts and feelings.


	3. Chapter 3

Loki gently ran his hands all over his precious kit, gently feeling down every leg and hoof, peering into the ears and putting his finger in his son’s mouth to feel for any abnormities. Sleipnir had wiggled and jiggled during the feet checking but was now happily suckling on Loki's finger. Loki chuckled, leaving his finger where it was and using his other hand, checking that everything was where it was meant to be and that no harm had come to him. In the back of his head was the fear that been locked away in the dungeon for the entire pregnancy might have done some damage to Sleipnir. Thankfully, his son really was as perfect as Loki had first thought. Their time in the darkness had done no last harm to the little colt. 

Letting out a long breath and feeling his shoulders relax from the tension they had been under. Loki gather up his Seiðr and let it wash through his son. To see what if any gifts the Norns had blessed him with. 

“You are a shape changer,” Loki said to a watching Sleipnir. “Only two forms thought, so this your birth form and I’m guessing an Æsir form as well.” Humming Loki continued his scan, a grin broke out on his face. “oh ho, so you liked the idea of discovering unknown places then little one,” Loki crooned smugly. “So much that you are a sky walker like me.” 

Loki was glad that no other Asgardian were around, for he couldn’t stop himself from puffing up with pride. He ran his hands down Sleipnir’s flanks and crooned praises to him. His little kit blinked enormous eyes at him then turning shy ducked his head, tucking it under one of his tiny front hooves. Loki was besotted with the sight. His kit was the best, most amazing, cuties, wonderfulness, cleverest son in the whole of the nine realms. No other son and kit had ever been as magnificent as Sleipnir. 

The first thing Loki did once he tore himself away from his son was go hunting for a better mare to be Sleipnir wet nurse. This was his son. The first born of a prince. Part of the royal family. No, sorry old nag was going to be the wet nurse. 

The Norns must have had agreed with him for it was short time later that Loki was wondering the market place and came across a trader selling horse. He walked among them, running a critical eye over every signal one. Loki knew he was no expert in horseflesh but he didn’t need to be, he wasn’t looking for some prized mount, what he was cheeking for was age and most importantly temperament. Only once he got to the back of the herd did he find what he was looking for. The young mare looked at him with sweet, calm eyes and happily nuzzled his palm when he offered it. 

“Ah, your highness?” The trader came up to him nervously. “You don’t be wanted this un. She has a sweet nature, true enough, but her gait is bad and they ruin her mouth. I’m selling her off to the dwarves to work in the mines.” 

“I’m not looking for a mount but for a supplicant mother for a colt that has lost his.” 

“Oh, well, in that case she just might suit. So long as no one wants to ride her, she should do the job just fine. She had already raised one foal. And was a wonderful mother to it.” 

Loki nodded and paid for the mare. He put the bitless halter on her head and she followed his gentle tugging on the lead with no resistance. Walking her back to the stable, he got a shock when he saw Svaðilfari in one of the far pens. Loki froze, his entire body trembling as he stared at the stallion. Norns, he didn’t think he could go one step further. A cold sweet broke out over him and his hands become clammy. Vision tunnelling until all he could see was the stallion, deaf to all else that was occurring. It was only when a soft nudge against his shoulder shifted him before he broke from the spell. Turning, he saw the mare looking at him puzzled. With a shaky laugh Loki stroked her neck 

“Sorry, girl, I got lost in my head for a moment there. Come one lets get you settled and introduce you to my son.” Loki continued to lead the mare into the stables, making sure he walked on the other side of her so the mare’s flank constantly blocked his view of Svaðilfari. 

The old nag was once again a sleep in the corner, but Sleipnir was up on his feet exploring his stall. He let out an excited little “Neh,” and gambolled over to them once he caught sight of Loki. 

“Hello Boyo,” Loki crooned, running his hands down Sleipnir’s neck. “I brought you a new friend.” He undid the gate and led the mare into the stall. Then watched amused and Sleipnir pranced around the mare, stretching his neck to sniff at her before head-butting her flank playfully. Still not completely steady on his little legs, the headbutt cause him to topple over, coming to a stop on his back legs akimbo. Loki laugh and the mare snickered before lowering her head and sweetly sniffing Sleipnir. Seeing that they liked each other, Loki slung a rope around the nag and led her from the stall. The old horse was most reluctant to leave the wide stall with its fresh hay, but Loki persisted and put her into one of the smaller empty stalls. 

Next feeling spiteful towards Odin who was keeping Sleipnir’s true parentage from the court, Loki sought his brother. He first went to the training grounds, but they were filled with the weathered warriors and Loki didn’t bother looking any further in that direction. Thor had long since giving up his awe filled worship of the older warriors and no longer listen to their advice or stories, much preferring to tell his own grand tales. 

Loki found him in the very next spot he checked. Feasting, and, oh great, the idiots three who constantly hung around his brother inflating his head and licking his boot straps were there as well. Loki didn’t like what happened to Thor when he was around them. He lost what little sense he had to begin with and turned into the most brutish of thugs. Encourage by the groupies, who constantly pushed Thor into more and more stupid situations. 

Loki stepped back into the shadows and cast an illusion, taking on the appearance of one of the anonymous servant boys. He then ran into the room panting 

“Excuse me, your highness,” Loki gasped like he had been running for a while. “But training master Bor requested the presence of the warriors three.” The stupid name they had given themselves when they were not actually warriors yet. Loki knew that even though Bor had not requested them the second, they turned up the training master would put them to work. The three hanger-on’s groan and Thor slammed his cup of mean against the table. 

“When does he require them?” Thor thundered. Loki made sure the servant boy quavered and timidly piped up. “Straight away, your highness,” 

All four of them groan then Thor waved them off 

“Best get it over with, Master Bor is only worse if you make him wait.” Loki’s servant form scurried out of the room before the three grumbling older teens. Loki then ‘re-entered’ the room, swerving around the exiting Asgardians. 

“Whoa,” Loki cried, “where is everyone off to in such a rush?” 

“Brother,” Thor greeted despondent. “Off to train, and to leave me along when I provided such a lovely feast for them too.” 

Loki looked down at the table that was covered in game meats torn apart, bones piled in a heap, stains bits of food sprayed from one end to the other and grimaced 

“It looks like you had finished eating already.” 

Thor looked down at the table and blinked, then shrugged. “Ay, but we had only just started drinking,” 

“Never mind that,” Loki replied who privately thought Thor drank too much for a boy who was only in his fifteen age. “Come, I want to show you something, and if you stay here, someone is bound to report it to our Pack leader and next thing you know you will be stuck in some lesson or the other.” 

Thor made a face of disgust and clapped Loki on the shoulder 

“Brother as ever you do me well,” 

“Yes, well,” Loki muttered, rubbing his shoulder “Come on.” 

He led Thor through a weaving path, missing all the patrolling guards and schoolers that were out and about. Until they arrived at the King’s stables. 

“Are you going to show me the stallion, Father captured from the villainous builder? For I have seen him already.” Thor asked. “Although I wouldn’t mind putting him to spurs, he has a fine temper and it would be a glories thing to tame him.” 

“I have no interested in what you do with that stallion,” Loki said, not looking in that direction at all. “You can ride him to the ground for all I care.” He pushed the doors to the stables open and led Thor to the wide stall at the end. 

“This is what I wanted to show you. Thor meet my son Sleipnir.” Thor looked down at the little colt who on seeing Loki leapt into the air, all of his legs having turned into springs, and proceeded to bounce across to him. 

“Nee,” He whinnied. Loki smiled and lent a hand over the stall door so Sleipnir could nuzzle it. 

“He is a fine-looking little lad,” Thor said gamely. “But Loki, he cannot be your son. You are not married. You can’t have Kits until you are married.” 

Loki snorted. “Yeah, about that, it is a lie the schoolers told us,” 

“What? Really?” 

“Yep, all that is required to have a kit is for you to put your penis inside someone and empty your seed into them.” 

Thor looked up sharply at that. “I fear you are mistaken brother,” 

“I’m not,” Loki retorted “I have the proof to prove it.” waved his hand at his son. Loki had to admit he took far too much delight at watching all the colour drain from Thor’s face. 

“You cannot be right,” Thor begged, grasping at straws. Loki just raised his eyebrow in reply. 

“Oh Norns,” Thor whisper horrified. “I have emptied my seed countless time in women.” 

Loki nodded. His brother had been far too careless with his bed sports. 

“Does that mean, I have a bunch of children out there somewhere?” 

“You might, you might not,” Loki replied. “The seed doesn’t always grow, but the chances of your seed never having grown are very slim, brother.” 

Thor swayed, alarmed Loki reached out and steadied his older brother. 

“Your Kit is a fine son,” Thor said on autopilot, “Forgive me I have to go, you have given me a great deal to think about, I must fine out, I must know if I am a father.” 

“Of course,” Loki agreed. “If you need any help, know that I am always here for you, brother.” Thor placed his hand on the back of Loki's neck and bowed his head until their foreheads touched. 

“Thank you, brother,” He breathed out then spun away, striding off. 

“Nee?” 

“Not to worry, little one. He has other things on his mind. I’m sure he will return another day.” Loki soothed. He had to admit he hadn’t expected that response. The confusion and denial, yes, but not the desire to see if he was a father. If anything, he expected Thor to shrug it off, to claim it not his problem. A smile grew on his face. He always loved it when Thor didn’t meet his expectations. And right now this was proof that the brother he had grown up with was still there, buried under all the entitled behaviours they had encouraged him to use of late. 

* * *

Loki stood half hidden behind a pillar and watched the court happily gossiping and milling around. The stormy expression of his face kept anyone from being foolish enough to attempt to interact with him. His fourteenth age was starting off as badly as his thirteen had been. 

Odin's face had resembled thunder clouds when he found out Loki had told Thor the truth about both who Sleipnir was and how babies are conceived. He had decreed that Loki not say anything on either subject to another soul. Enforcing the order with his position as Loki pack Leader. The session had ended with Loki abasing himself on the floor sobbing and begging for forgiveness. 

Loki hated the way he felt every time one of these sessions occurred. His stomach burned with acid, every inch of his inside become coated with a sticky thick globules layer of self-disgust. Clinging to him and refusing to let go, forcing him to carry it around with him every second of every day, never a moment peace or rest until over time he managed to chip away at it and removing it from his person one tiny splatter at a time. 

To say nothing of how he felt during the encounter. Odin had him literally crawling on his belly like the lowest of worms, squirming hoping to be raised up. Of taking what he knows is his rightful place, as a prince, a son of a king. Yet they had conditioned him to beg for scraps. To throw himself on the all-Fathers mercy. To tear himself apart, hoping to please his alpha. So that they would not throw him from the pack. So that he wouldn’t become so unwanted that even his pack no longer acknowledged him. For Loki had spent his life trying to prove that he was worthy, so that someone would want him. But it seems he should be grateful that the Norns blessed him to be born into this pack. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have a single soul who would want to claim him. To declare to all and sundry that Loki belonged. That he was an important and wanted part of a pack. 

Loki had seen it happen, had seen tiny commoners with no standing what so ever stand up to the All Father and refuse to hand over their pack member. And because Pack leaders had the ultimate authority of their own pack. Odin had to agree, had to release the person in question. Oh, he made sure they still received the punishment, but they spread out it through the members of the pack, making it so that no one person had to endure more than they could bare. 

That was the whole point of having a pack. All struggles, misfortunes, celebrations, achievements were shared among the whole. Having them work together for a common goal. The stronger the pack was, the better they worked together. Loki had once met a tiny pack of four members, they had been the strongest pack he had even seen. The bonding pheromones they produced had been so strong that none of the members would ever leave. 

Odin’s pack however was not strong at all, whatever was needed to tie the members together, this pack didn’t have it. Oh, all the members in it were incredibly strong in their own right, but as individuals. Not as a team. It both filled Loki with a sense of glee that Odin was constantly failing in this one area and a sense of dread. The pack was already so weak, it wouldn’t take much at all for Odin to kick him out of it. 

All of which led to Loki standing here. Yes, he admitted it, sulking at the corner of the court. He felt he had an excellent reason, though. Odin had done something unspeakably cruel. Sleipnir was just starting to talk, and Odin had placed a spell on him so that none could understand his speech. So that they would only hear the sounds of an equine. 

Loki had broken the spell regarding himself, and sneaking into the library to read some forbidden text had shifted the spell so that it only affected his colt form. If and when he shifted to Æsir, everyone would be able to hear him speak the same as everyone else. Loki hadn’t dared do more than that. If Odin saw Loki had removed the spell completely, who knows what would happen? 

For one thing, Loki would never be able to see his son again. Odin was mostly looking the other way when Loki snuck down to the stables. In return Loki was making sure that he was never caught and that he didn’t show any interest in the occupants of the Kings stables when he was around the public. All so Odin could continue not having to acknowledge and deal with the issue. 

But and this was the worst fear, Odin may decide to have Sleipnir killed. At the moment he was receiving the best a colt could desire, and Loki knew he couldn’t give his son half of what he was getting. He had nothing to his name and whilst he was a man now; he was still too young to hold any property or have any assets. 

So Sleipnir would stay in the Stables, mute to all but Loki. Not forever, as soon as Loki reached his twentieth age, he would take Sleipnir and to two of them would disappear, find somewhere in the nine realms out of the way and quiet to settle down and be a family together. But until that time, Loki had to walk a fine line on just how much he could push back against Odin’s actions. 

Thor came up to him looking sombre faced. It was so unlike his brother that Loki unfolded his arms and stood straight. 

“I would speak with you, brother,” Thor stated simply. Loki nodded and followed Thor out of the feasting hall, down the corridor a ways and into a quiet nook. 

“It has taken me some time, but I have spoken to a lot of the women I engaged in bed sport with. Most of them had taken precautions against allowing any seed to grow within them.” 

“Ah, I had not known such a thing was possible.” 

“Aye, this is part why I have come to you, so that you can have the knowledge for when you are my sister,” 

“And the other part?” Loki asked. Thor did not answer for some time instead he stared out; Loki knew he wasn’t seeing the corridor wall, but instead whatever was so bothering him. Patiently Loki settled in to wait until Thor was ready to speak. His patience was rewarded. 

“I found one maid, a girl who had only just started playing with bed sports and like you, she did not know there were such things to prevent males seed from growing. Her belly had swollen with my child. Alas, there was a miscommunication and her family took her to a midwife who forced the child from her before it was ready.” 

Loki stared at Thor, aghast. He was now gladder than ever that he had not drunk the tea when it had been offered. 

“It was a wee girl, I had a daughter, but they took her from me before I even knew she existed.” 

“Oh, Thor,” Loki whispered. “I’m so sorry,” 

“It’s foolish, I know, for the kit never drew breath. And yet I still feel bereft. As thought they stole something from me.” 

“Something was,” Loki said firmly, placing his hand on Thor’s shoulder. “She was your daughter regardless if she lived or not.” Thor sighed. 

“Come brother, take me to your chambers and together we will perform the funeral rites and morn your daughter.” Thor blinked slowly, then turned to Loki. 

“Really? You would do this for me, brother? You don’t think I am been foolish and making a fuss over nothing?” 

“You are not being foolish.” Loki stated, hearing Odin’s words coming from his brother’s mouth. “And yes, come, we will leave others to their feasting and merrymaking. We have more important things to do.” 

Loki stood in Thor’s chambers, his sharpest dagger in his hand as he gazed down at the small brazier before him. Thor stood on the other side. Loki reached up and grabbed the first lock of his hair. Using his dagger, he cut it as close to his scalp as he could. Chanting the ritual words of loss and mourning, Loki offered his hair as sacrifice to appease the Norns to watch over Thor's unborn daughter and to place her back in the cycle of life to be reborn again. He dropped the lock of hair into the flames. Instantly an acid, sulphurous smell rose from the brazier, clinging to Loki's clothes and singeing his nose. Ignoring the discomforts, Loki continued to chant, cutting and burning his hair. Thor mirroring his every action. Once he had no more hair to give, Loki changed his chant to a traditional one of sorrow. He repeated the simple melody filled with words that people no longer understood interspersed with purrs of comfort. The sorrowful sound syllables conveyed the message just fine on their own. 

Loki was the only one chanting now, Thor had his head bowed and stood before the fire, white knuckled. The smoke rose, curling and undulating in mysteries shapes; it swirled round them reaching out tentacles of mist to brush against them causing Loki’s eye to water with the smokes stinging kiss. 

Thor was producing a lot more tears than just what the smoke teased forth, yet Loki drew no attention to it. This was for his big brother, a way for him to mourn what could have been. Instead, Loki widened his stance and settled in for the long haul. If Thor needed time, then Loki would stand here chanting until Thor was done, no matter how long that took. He made sure his purrs rose in pitch. The purr of a pack member could offer more comfort than the purr of a stranger. 

It wasn’t until the fire had burnt down to mere embers that Thor looked up at him with red rimmed eyes. 

“Thank you, brother,” He thickly said. For all that his voice was chocked up, he sounded lighter. By Loki allowing him to grieve, he was no longer weighted down. 

Loki nodded at him. His voice had become weaker and weaker as he had continued chanting until the last couple had been rasped out. 

Thor opened a bottle of mean and poured it over the coal dosing the last of the heat. He then took a hearty sip, before passing the bottle to Loki, who also took a mouthful. The spicey drink hydrating his dry as a desert mouth. 

Thor put his hand in the ashes, grabbing a palmful of the wet inky crumbling substance. He rubbed it into his head, turning his blond stubble into a dark stained mess. He trailed his hand down his face, leaving jarred lines of scoot that stood starkly against his skin. Loki did the same, coating his head, face and arms with charcoal from the fire. 

Neither of them would bath now for three days, letting the sooty remain on their skin as a sign to all that they were morning. 

“What foolishness is this?” Odin grumbled when the two of them walked into their parent’s wing. 

“We are mourning the death of my unborn daughter,” Thor replied with dignity. 

“Your mourning what? Don’t be so foolish, son, the kit wasn’t even born yet. There is nothing to morn,” Odin replied, baffled. 

“No,” Frigga spoke up, coming across and greeting both her sons with kisses, not minding that embracing them transferred some of the soot onto her own immaculate gown. “It is not foolishness, It is right that the brothers should bond this way over the potential life that could have been. The Kit would have been the second in line to the throne.” 

Odin waved a hand, dismissing it. “As you say, Mate,” He replied to Frigga. “When do the three days of morning end?” directed at Thor. 

Loki was content to fade into the background as much as he could, considering his appearance. He had a feeling that had he tried to mourn an unborn child, Odin would not have allowed it, even if Frigga spoke up for it. Still, he was glad that Thor got the support he needed from his family. And hopefully Thor would remember this lesson and be a lot more cautious with his bed sports. 

* * *

The sound of high-pitched fake laughter drew Loki away from his book. He was sitting on one of the window seat and brow furrowing he gazed down into the courtyard this window overlooked. 

Thor was sitting on the bench like he had been, but before where he had been studying a scroll for one of his lessons now, he had a gaggle of woman surrounding him. The big lug had a grin on his face and cheerfully chatted with them as they all attempted to flirt with him. 

Loki would have turned back to his book, this was a common scene after all, if it had not been for the fact, he recognised one of the women. The notorious Lady Sif was flirting the most blatantly to the stage that even the other women were side eyeing her with incredulous looks. Thor of course didn’t notice. He was lapping up all the attention she was paying him. Giving her increasing bright smiles and long lingering looks. 

Sif was no fool. She grabbed hold of Thors attention and refused to relinquish it until the other women gave it up as a poor job and walked off to find some other victim. Sif sat down next to Thor and ‘accidentally’ had her long golden hair fall over her shoulder and spill into his lap. 

Loki rolled his eyes then said in a high-pitched voice, “Oh, would you look at that?” Mocking Sif. He was too far away to hear what she actually said, but he found he preferred his version. “my pride and joy, the one feature that causes jealously in all other females just happened to fall onto your lap, just in case you hadn’t noticed how long and golden it is. now gee, I wonder how that happened.” 

Loki gaged a little when Thor picked up the end of her hair and laid a kiss on the blond locks. 

“Me dumb brute,” Loki grunted, “Me think hair like honey, me hungry me eat hair, me love honey,” 

Sif turned her face away, coving her cheeks as she faked modesty. Yet in the same move she pushed her bosom out, drawing Thors eye. She then turned back and said something that had Thor laughing. She went to gather up her hair from where it lay across Thor’s thighs, yet for some reason her fingers kept slipping or dropping the hair and she had to go gather it up again. Her hand grasping around trying to gather up the handfuls. Thor wasn’t helping her at all, but he was watching her hungrily, spreading his legs wider so she had more access. 

Loki jumped from the window seat and walked off in disgust. He couldn’t stand to sit there for a moment longer, forced to watch the little hussy groping Thor in public. She was nothing but bad news, yet her supposed beauty blinded Thor to see it. He didn’t know that she wasn’t interested in being another notch in his bedpost but was aiming for the throne. 

If Thor slept with her, she would do everything in her power to make it permeant. Loki was confident she could trick Thor into giving her a Temp Bite, which unlike the Night bite lasted for about a month. And she would only need a single month to get her hooks into him and have him wrapped around her little finger. She would do everything in her power to keep Thor glued to her side. From fake tears of ladylike distress to ‘falling pregnant’ only to lose the child later on. 

If Thor could tumble her, then walk away Loki would wash his hands of the whole situation, but Thor for all his loud exclamation and brute like action had a very tender heart buried under the rough exterior. It would distress him to know that he had done something to upset a gentle lady of which he thought Sif to be and would do all in his power to fix it. Including something as stupid as giving her a Permanent Bite mark. The one mark you could only give once in your lifetime. Ignoring all her personality traits that made her someone Loki despised, she wasn’t suitable to be the next queen. Thor as the heir had to be very careful in whom he married. 

Loki froze for a second. Hold on, he didn’t have to deal with this himself. The All father was also very invested in who Thor was going to marry. All Loki had to do was inform his Pack Leader what was going on, then sit back and wait. Odin would deal with the rest. 

No, Odin would not deal with the rest. Loki stormed back to his chambers. Teeth grinding against each other and hand clenched into fist. All he had received for his efforts to both help the kingdom and advert a disaster in the making was Odin voice ringing in his head accusing him of making mischief, if he was that jealous of a wench paying Thor attention Odin could organise a prostitute for Loki. He was deaf to Loki’s claims that he wasn’t interested in bed sports, that Lady Sif was only looking out for herself. 

Loki slammed the door to his chambers closed then stomped around kicking the end of his bed for good measure. Why! Why was it that Odin never listens when Loki spoke? Loki could not recall a single time that Odin had listened and taken Loki's point of view on a subject. Always, always, its Loki is causing mischief again. 

Well, if Odin wouldn’t do something, then Loki would have to. And he needed to be quick about it. Sif knew her prey well, and she wouldn’t dangle Thor along for more than a couple of days. She couldn’t sleep with him straight away because he would think it was nothing more than bed sports, but if she waited too long, his attention would drift away to another woman instead. 

Loki walked over to his most precious possession, a grimoire that he had stolen from the Library and hid in his rooms under heavy warding. He flicked through the book, looking for some inspiration for how to stop Sif. His words were not enough, he needed some way to make Thor see who Sif really was under all that beautiful hair. Turning the page Loki read the description, a small smile creeping onto his face. 

This was perfect. And even better, it only required a small amount of his Seiðr to set the spell in motion once it was done, it could not be undone except by the caster. And Loki would not inform any living soul of that little titbit.

* * *

Loki ran silently through the palace, ears straining for sounds of pursuit. Nothing greeted his ears except for the normal sounds of the night. His arms full with his prize, he skidded a bit as he rushed around a corner, hopping a little to try to regain his momentum and not fall over. Most unwilling to release his armfuls until he had arrived at his destination. Almost stumbling down the steps in his haste, Loki arrived with a clatter into the empty kitchen. He placed his bundle down on the table, then gasping for breath he listened again for any sign that they had discovered him. Once more the loudest sounds were his own breathing and the thudding of his heart. All else was quiet and peaceful. 

Pleased, he picked up his stolen goods and walked over to the massive hearth which was still burning merrily away. He threw the long golden braid onto the kitchen fire and watched it blacked and burn. A laugh burst its way out of his throat as he watched the fire greedily consume Sif’s one redeeming feature. The feelings inside were straining to come out and Loki unable to help himself broking into a mad little jig, cackling away. He had done this for Thor, but he would not lie and say he wasn’t enjoying himself thoroughly. 

Oh, he would pay for this, he knew that, but now, with nothing to hide behind all would see Sif for who she really was. 


End file.
